There is nothing worse than not knowing. Not knowing if someone is mad at you, not knowing what others think of you, not knowing if you’re doing the right thing. It will drive you mad overthinking and overanalyzing things, especially when it comes to the opposite gender.
We’ve heard it all.
Boys will be boys.
If he’s mean to you, it means he likes you.
Even use of the term f*ckboy.
We as society make excuses for it to be okay, justified, or even normal, for the ways men treat women. We teach women what they should do in case of an attacker, assaulter, or rapist, instead of teaching men not to rape. We grow up learning that if a boy pushes you down on the playground, you should be happy he’s paying attention to you. We are supposed to think that a man being possessive and obsessive is “cute”, not dangerous.
This is not all men, but its enough. Enough of them to keep us on our toes when we walk alone down the street, enough of them to make us think this is what a relationship is supposed to be like, and enough of them for it to happen to someone we know. It’s just enough.
No matter what you do, what you think is right, or what you want, you will be judged. Maybe you feel ready for the next step in your relationship and next thing you know, you’re called a slut. Maybe you want to wait for the right moment, but now you’re a prude.
A guy hits on you and you turn him down. You’re instantly a bitch. He goes on to say that he was just bored, so you’re being full of yourself. You’re not worthy of him, you’re only a booty call.
You get a number from the boy you like and call him up, now you’re easy. Now you’re the girl who talks to random guys and responds to their messages at any time, you’re obsessed and stalking him.
But boys will be boys. If he’s mean to you he likes you. Take your pick girls: prude, bitch, slut, whore, easy, crazy, loose. So instead of raising boys, who turn into men, to treat girls respectfully, safely, and to be considerate, their actions are justified. Their actions are normal. Their actions are okay. But as for girls, when you wear shorts in the summer and show your shoulders, “you are asking for it”. When you get sent to the office for the dress code, its your fault, not the boys who are distracted by that. That black eye was an “accident”, one that wasn’t supposed to happen again, but did.
When you want something more out of a relationship than the physical aspects, you’re needy. When you feel like he is seeing someone else, you’re paranoid. When you consider a future, you are out of your mind. You forgive him time and time again, because you love him, because you were taught that this is how its supposed to be. This is what love feels like. This is a real relationship.
When you’ve both been drinking and he takes advantage of you, its your responsibility too for him sexually assaulting you. And later, when society finds out you didn’t give consent and he didn’t care to ask, you’re blameworthy as well. When you weren’t conscious and he went inside you, it was “life-ruining” for him too as he had you on the ground behind a dumpster. When he gets six months, out of a fourteen year sentence, six months because it would have a “severe-impact” on him, you are the one who is still to blame.
This is the reality for women, not all women, but just enough. Just enough of us, to affect our lifestyles, our actions, and our society.
Just enough women because of just enough men.